I am mine

When the light goes out, you really find how lonely you are.. No internet.. no fan.. no air circulation.. no nothing.. Then, while you lie on your bed trying not to think about anything in particular, sweat rolling down your chin, afraid that you might think about something that will make you even more miserable than you already are, your mind slowly and painfully against your wish moves on to those topics that are flagged *no please!!*

Reality really hits you hard when you least expect it.. now that I think of it.. I don’t have any friends at all.. at least not in a normal sense.. left what was normal in my life back home almost two years ago.. from then on, life went on as unusual..

The light did go out today, more than usual.. so I did have more time to think about it.. and hence another rant..

Online all the time.. my friends ask me..

man!! Are you like eternally online? Someone else is kind to point out, that they all have lives..

little do they know that, no, I may not have a life like they do.. maybe I am eternally online.. or maybe I am dead and gone.. these are just echoes reflecting of some servers that I have long ago visited.. who knows.. for all I know.. I am no more to anyone than a ghost.. I am there for them when they need me.. and I remain in the shadows when they don’t.. But none was so kind to let me stay with them for a while.. yes.. they all had their lives..

Then again.. who are you friends.. little floating islands in the midst of this vast void.. I try hard to think back, to find out how I made friends in the first place? Or did I ?

Thinking harder..

Maybe its just me who needs to change.. like they tell me..